Hi-
I'll try not to go off on too much of a rant. Especially when you've all most likely heard it 100 times before.
*Late 2011 I had a hip replacement. the surgery was routine. 5 days after surgery my thigh began to swell pretty dramatically. A vicious cycle began of us calling the surgeon's office to report swelling, bloating, pain, sensitivity. We kept getting flunkies who assured us it was just drainage and to take more meds. Never once did they tell me I should be seen. Never did the surgeon call. 3 weeks later I called "B.S." about their inactivity and went to the ER. I was told I had one of the most massive clots they'd ever seen. Groin to ankle. They started me on lovinox and high doses of warf., and sent me home.
*The next day I went in for a PE. It wasn't a huge one, but enough to scare the ever-lovin-be-jeebers out of everyone. Was in 3 days for that.
*Over the next several weeks, they hoped my body would absorb and deal with the clot. It was pretty apparent in hindsight that was whistling in the grave yard. Late in January I finally got in to see a vascular surgeon. He brought me up to speed on clots and how they turn into cemented plaque. He told me it was most likely too late for clot busters. He said the only practical option was to get the crud manually scraped out. He wanted me on the table the next day. I was cautioned that there was no time for second opinions as I was right on the edge of being too late. He also warned up front that this surgery would not restore my leg to complete health- he said "Someone should have told you to get in here about a month ago!" He was straight forward that my leg was 100% shot, the valves in the femoral vein were dead, and that this surgery was to improve circulation and hopefully mitigate future problems like ulcers, cellulitous, etc. and restore a better quality of function to the leg. So we went for it. I had a thrombolectomy(sorry about the spelling). He originally thought it was going to be 2-2.5 hours. I was on the table 5 1/2. In the hospital for 12 days.
*It was a long haul to get back even close to functional. I basically had to learn how to walk all over again. I wasn't able to drive myself for 5 months. Over a year later and I still haven't seen my muscle mass in my butt and legs come back.
*The last surgery did help some. It relieved the horrible throbbing pain when standing. But by all discriptions I have been left with a post phlebitic leg. I wear a compression stocking every day(All the way up to the groin.) I frequently need to lay down and get off it for a half hour or so. I can't stand long periods of time or walk longer than about 3 blocks before feeling like there's a 50lb sandbag tied to my foot.
*Later on, we find out I have a lupis anticoag problem, which is what caused all of this.
The compounding issues for me that I hope will change for the better- The hip surgeon left my operated leg 1/2" -3/4" longer than the unaltered leg. This plays merry hell with my low back. Additionally- the other hip needs to be replaced, so that thing is now barking at me. They may be able to correct my leg length dicrepancy when they do the other hip, which will help my back and mobility. Of course I'm on warfarin life long.
Well the upshot to all of this: I am depressed and angry. I can't get a lawyer to persue the first surgeon who ignored the problem. There are too many caps on damages, and therefore "Not enough money in it to make it worth our while. Sorry." I have been taking the warfarin, but haven't given a #@^* enough to go get tested for the last 6 months. I work with sharp whirling power tool blades of death; but don't give a rat's petoot about getting cut- I won't let this take away my work from me, I'd rather bleed out with my boots on.
My wife has been a saint. I owe her my life. But I feel worthless, a drag on her. I owe her better. I keep trying to pull out of the funk; but can't. I feel like if someone had the audacity to suggest I need antidepressants I will go ape. It's irrational, but in my mind that equates somehow to this all being my fault. More and more I wake up at 4AM thinking hateful things about the surgeon(the 1st one, not the vascular guy- he was ok.). I know hate is corrosive to the soul, and I need to get rid of it; but don't know how. I think part of my problem is that I am not this kind of person normally- I've had people screw me over and make me mad; but I've always been pretty good at walking away, not hanging onto it, and get back to being happy again. I don't know how to do it here.
... Ok... So I'm here. I'm hoping you guys who have been through this can give me some tips. At very least, I hope I won't feel alone in this...that you guys will tell me you felt this too and how you moved past it.
Thanks to any and all who took the time to read this.
-Tim